He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
