She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
