The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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