all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
