its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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