she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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