it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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