So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
