weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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