I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
