dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
