So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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