I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
