I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
