If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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