You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
