..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
