Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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