drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
