my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
