Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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