Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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