ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
