In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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