So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
