we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
