Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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