I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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