it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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