Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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