Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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