You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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