is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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