I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
