All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
