omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
