I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
