shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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