Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
