I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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