dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
