my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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