quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
