Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
