So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
