Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
