Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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