it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
