Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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