He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
