Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
