my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Drunk is not a location!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
