btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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