I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize