I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
