batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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