I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize