Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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