Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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