ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize