You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
This baby is an asshole
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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