The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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