He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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